Stuff co.nz 9 March 2020
Family First Comment: “Each time, the decision was made by John and his partner together, based on various circumstances. But that didn’t make it easier. “It’s a hell of a tough call, whichever way you go. It’s bloody traumatic for everybody. It should never be one person’s decision, if possible … When you’re in a relationship with somebody and they get pregnant, it has to be discussed … because it’s a hell of an emotional time.””
Yes – it’s emotional and ‘hell of a tough call’ and ‘bloody traumatic’. Because, deep down, we all know what it actually involves – and the implications for an unborn life.
For John*, talking about his experience with abortion is difficult, but he wants to help.
He’s in his 60s and somewhat of a social recluse, but he’s telling his story, not for his own gain – he asked to remain anonymous – but for men in similar situations.
“I know what I’ve been through, I know how hard it’s been, how hard it still is, and if something I can do or say can help somebody else, then that there is the highlight of my life, to be honest.”
‘A HELL OF A TOUGH CALL’
On two occasions in the last 20 years, John sat and cried with partners as they had abortions.
“It was [a scary time] … it was just a bloody nightmare.”
Both pregnancies were a surprise.
After both procedures, his relationships fell apart and he bottled up his feelings for almost two decades. Even talking about it now is difficult.
READ MORE: https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/120118632/abortion-and-men-its-traumatic-for-everybody