Kiwi mum’s heartbreak after surrogate terminates her pregnancy: ‘I went into shock’

NZ Herald 8 May 2021
When Jane* and her husband John* heard the news that their surrogate was pregnant last September, they were overjoyed. For Jane, who had a troubled first pregnancy carrying their daughter Jenny*, it meant another chance at motherhood.

As the couple stocked up on nappies and formula, and pulled out Jenny’s old baby clothes in anticipation, their only real worry was whether the infant would feel like theirs. But last November, while nine weeks pregnant with the couple’s biological baby, their surrogate underwent a termination without their knowledge.

Today, hoping her story will expose the realities of surrogacy in New Zealand, Jane is sharing her heartbreaking story with the Weekly.

“The hardest thing is there’s no way of fixing the situation or finding peace,” says Jane. “As a woman, it felt like I completely let my marriage and daughter down, not being able to carry another baby. When we were offered surrogacy, it was a dream.”

Jane was a teenager when she had the first of many operations for severe endometriosis. She was told she’d never have children and was open about this when she met John on Tinder.

“He figured it was because I was a career woman,” she says. “When I told him it was because of my health, he said he didn’t mind and would rather be with the right person without kids than with the wrong person with kids.”

John assured Jane that if they at least tried to have a baby naturally, they would have done their best. “That’s how we continue to look at things today,” she says. “When John held me in complete heartbreak recently, he just kept telling me that at least we tried.”

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