There’s a ‘story’ that’s been appearing throughout our media this week. Yes, the media are all over this one – they love it. No it’s not a story of great importance, such as the war in Ukraine, instead it’s a ‘lifestyle’ story about a Kiwi woman who married herself. Yep, she’s married herself. She also staged a group self-love ceremony at Wellington’s City Gallery, as part of the Gallery’s ‘Wellness Weekend’ (note – Wellington City Gallery receives significant funding from Wellington City Council and the taxpayer).
While most of us think marrying oneself is a sign of utter madness, the woke world we now live in has given it a label (of course it has a label), it’s called Sologamy. Here is one definition:
Sologomay, or self-marriage, is a symbolic ceremony where you commit to maintaining a meaningful, deep, and loving relationship with yourself.
There are even websites and products devoted to the act of marrying oneself – https://imarriedme.com/
Sologamy is a growing trend, with Kiwis joining in on the act. In 2020, Nelson massage therapist Stephanie Crampton and five other women took part in a “self-love ceremony”. A mirror was positioned under a driftwood altar. How lovely 🙁
We think Sologamy could also be labelled Narcissism. After all, here are some common characteristics of Narcissism:
A personality disorder that involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, and an excessive need for admiration.
Yep, Sologamy and Narcissism seem like two sides to the same coin. Here’s an article about the subject – Sologamy: The Outcome of a Narcissistic Society
“Writing in First Things, the theologian and journalist Timothy George attributes the increase in self-marriages to a narcissistic culture. After years of promoting individualism and the “looking out for number one” mentality, the second decade of the twenty-first century is seeing the bitter fruit of the misunderstanding of human nature.”
“Bethany Blankley (political analyst for Fox News Radio) attributes the increase to the cycle of perversion within society, namely that cultivating behaviours contrary to natural law within society will lead to an increase and expansion of depravity.”
Anyhow, back to our story of the Kiwi woman who married herself.
Anna Dean, 44, is a self-employed marketing and communications creative. This is what she had to say:
“I actually went through the process of marrying myself for my 30th birthday … the theme was leather and lace, so everybody wore these outrageous outfits and I got lifted up above everybody’s heads on a sort of Doric column [a borrowed film prop]. It all felt like a really fun expression of who I was at that time in my life – and not a wanky look-at-me thing.”
On 13 February, Dean staged a group self-love ceremony at Wellington’s City Gallery, where each individual married themselves. Here’s what it says on City Gallery’s website:
Self-love Wedding Ceremony (Sold Out) – In honour of Hilma af Klint, we invite you to a special celebration. Come along to a short ‘wedding’ ceremony and take a vow to deeply commit and honour YOURSELF. This slice of homemade evangelism is an antidote to Valentine’s Day brought to you by Anna Dean and led by performance artist, Bek Coogan, aka Oona Verse. Dress for your own marriage ceremony because this could be ‘the happiest day of your life.’ Robes and smocks for event are from artist Josephine Cachemaille’s studio collection.
Yep, the event sold out rapidly, with eighty people participating.
We’re lost for words …