McBLOG: “BodySafe” isn’t really that safe

Last week we were alerted to yet another new sex education programme – which seems to be the replacement for cancelled “Mates & Dates”. We’ve investigated some of the content and ideology of this new ‘consent’ programme called BodySafe which is being targeted at children aged 13-15 years old. Once again, parents should be concerned.

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Remember the good news from the end of last year? The Mates and Dates programme in schools which  had been indoctrinating harmful and confusing gender fluidity and sexuality ideology into our schools for far too long – was scrapped. 

But then we showed you that there was a new show in town – called In Your Skin – a programme developed by two sexologists from Australia. It became quickly evident that this programme, while containing some good material which parents will appreciate, has a strong emphasis on radical sexuality and gender ideologies – which is exactly what the Ministry of Education and activists want your children to be indoctrinated in.

Remember, this is a sex positive, gender transformative, preferred sexual activity programme. “Instead of thinking about virginity, get busy….” But it’s not only sex positive, gender transformative, preferred sexual activity programme, Instead of thinking about virginity, get busy…. It’s also pro abortion, pro gender confusion, pro transing and binding and sex change operations, and even pro prostitution. 

But last week we were alerted to yet another new programme – which seems to be the replacement for Mates & Dates. We’ve investigated some of its content and ideology. Once again, you should be concerned.

Rape Prevention Education which previously ran Mates & Dates now has a new programme. It’s called BodySafe. The programme is mostly delivered over four separate 45-60 minute (time determined by school period lengths) modules/workshops to secondary school students (13-16 year olds in Years 9, 10 and 11).

They say “Our Body Safe Tiaki Tinana programme delivers high quality information to students in over 25 high schools in Auckland.”

The goal is to work with young people to promote… not “respectful relationships” (which we all want – where no means no – that you should never feel coerced or under pressure in any relationship). No – it’s to work with young people to promote “respectful sexual relationships”.

The only hint that sexual activity should be delayed is because the law says so – but 

If they are under 16 years old. In Aotearoa New Zealand, the legal age of consent is 16 years old. The law protects young people from older people who might be trying to take advantage of them. It is not intended to punish young people who are thinking about doing sexual stuff. Everyone involved must be 16 years of age or older to consent to sex. If you are under 16 it is best to wait to have sex.

They did a 2016 Review of the programme based on just 4 schools – there is no mention of concepts such as abstain, delay, virginity, postpone

So what are they telling your 13,14,15 year old? Is this what you want your child taught?

Here’s what BodySafe are telling your kids…

Without your consent, any of these sexual acts are illegal:

  • Vaginal sex (penis into vagina)
  • Anal sex (penis into anus)
  • Oral sex (mouth on penis, anus or vagina)
  • Digital sex (fingers into vagina, anus or penis)
  • Object sex (object into vagina, penis or anus)
  • Touching (groping or feeling)
  • Kissing (mouth or tongue)
  • Masturbation (making someone do it or doing it to someone else)
  • Porn (being made to watch it or be in it)
  • And anything else that is sexual, and without consent, is not okay.

The whole basis of this (apart from one sentence saying it’s best to wait to have sex) is that as long as there’s consent, you can go for it.

We define consent as an ENTHUSIASTIC YES!

“Consent is sexy because it means people are into it. It’s a very important part of a respectful sexual relationship!”

Consent is a free agreement between people who might want to do sexual stuff together. When we say free agreement, we aren’t talking about cost, we mean free as in people feel free to say how they really feel about something, without feeling pressured into doing something that they don’t want to do.

Another way to think about consent is as an ‘enthusiastic yes’. Enthusiastic means you are really excited and keen to do something. If and when you choose to do sexual stuff it’s your choice and you shouldn’t be doing it if you feel you have to.


There are also other times when people cannot give their consent to do sexual stuff:

  • If someone is asleep or unconscious
  • If someone is so affected by an intellectual, mental or physical condition or impairment that they are unable to communicate their consent or refuse consent.
  • If someone does sexual stuff because they are mistaken about the other person’s identity.
  • If someone does sexual stuff because they are mistaken about what sexual stuff will be happening. For example, if someone gives their consent to vaginal sex but then anal sex happens without their consent.


Consent may look and sound like:

  • Yes!
  • I really want to…
  • This feels great!
  • I want you/this/that
  • Can we do more of that?
  • This feels right
  • Undressing



We have four steps to consent to help people have that conversation! Getting consent for sexual stuff is basically just the same as getting consent for anything else, like what movie to watch, where to go on the weekend, or what to eat together.

1.    ASK

First of all ask yourself what you are keen to do sexually. Ask the person you are with the same thing – it can be as simple as “So…what do you want to do?” or “Are you sure you want to do this”? 

….If it hurts stop. Sex should not hurt.    


Respect the person you are asking to do sexual stuff with. You might be keen to be sexual with them, but if they’re not so sure – show respect and stop what you’re doing. Respect how they might be feeling. Don’t force, pressure or guilt them into doing something they don’t want to do. Respect your own morals and beliefs as well, they are what make us unique. The right person will respect these also.

The recommended video resources are from Lizzie Marvelley’s The Real Sex Talk – that should be an immediate red flag   

To conclude …

Parents – Do you know what your school is doing in this area? Is “Body Safe” in your school. We think you should check – because it’s not safe. Like most programmes being pushed in schools at the moment, it defaults to a “you are sexually active. We’ll help you do it safely”

But here’s the interesting thing. 

The latest research shows that actually the majority of youth are not sexually active. And the trend towards delay has been increasing – despite the constant messaging around condoms, contraceptives, abortion and safe sex. 

In the latest Youth2000 data, it showed that just 21% of teens had ever had sex, and just 13% said they were currently sexually active. Why aren’t we reinforcing the positive messaging to wait, delay, abstain, just say no.  yeah right, ethical porn is a myth. Consumers of “ethical” porn aren’t immune to effects of addiction and tolerance. Pornography is intrinsically unethical. The term “ethical” is nothing more than a false veneer that gives a sheen of legitimacy to the use of inherently exploitive material.

It’s a good reminder that you need to go to our website and read our Parent Guide. It’s time to push back – and this Parent Guide shows you how to do it effectively and strategically.

They will hate this presentation that you’re watching – because they really don’t want you as a parent to be fully aware of what’s happening. 

As a parent or caregiver, it’s our job to be a voice our children trust the most on the topic of relationships and sex. Let’s be courageous and talk about sex & relationships & marriage & abstinence & respect & consent with our children. 

Be the loudest voice on this topic. 

Let’s not leave the door open for our children to be taught about sexuality and gender theory by the voices of people whose agendas and values don’t align with ours.

We’ll keep discussing this issue and giving you the resources to speak up and push back. 

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